Choosing the best fit for you
Making the decision to enter therapy can be difficult, finding a best fit therapist or counselor that is helpful and committed to your goals and desires can be daunting. In recent years, the societal acceptability of seeking mental health services and support has increased tremendously. People are trying to make sense of some very stressful and difficult times and circumstances. At no other time have most people been living with this amount of toxic stress in their day to day lives. How do you find the right person, a quick internet search in almost any area of the country will give you pages and pages of people who are caring compassionate and in almost all cases competent and licensed? So… what are some traits that the average person considering therapy can do to help determine if that smiling face looking back them is going to be a good fit for them and their unique experience and needs.
There are literally hundreds of theories and ways to go about supporting others in their mental health needs, some are directive, other practice modalities will solely follow the lead of the person seeking assistance. Most often, people are going to connect with someone who is somewhere in the middle. Partnership and creating a collaborative working relationship is one of the strongest predictors of success and satisfaction in therapy. Look for someone who wants to engage with you in a way that allows for you to share your experiences and the efforts you have already made to improve your situation. In every therapeutic relationship there should be two experts. The person who brings their life story and experiences and the person who can share skills and theories that help move the process towards a satisfying outcome.
No judgement, as I mentioned earlier, making the choice to get counseling is not easy. People have literally told themselves over and over, in their mind, that they should be able to figure this out on their own. They have probably sought the help of other trusted people in their life, and sometimes have taken to the internet, self-help books or their physician to improve how they are functioning or feeling. Having a therapeutic partner that arrives without judgement from a neutral and kind place is incredibly important. People are doing the best they can every single day, the information, resources, and environment play a huge role in being able to identify and make changes that are satisfying to them. Look for a therapist who is curious about you and all the things about you that make your story unique and special. They should want to hear about all your strengths and how those strengths have helped you in the past.
Best fit therapists are also going to make you feel heard, they will care for you and will truly want you to reach your goals. You will feel that they understand you and they will engage throughout your process with kindness and compassion as you share your experiences and efforts. These counselors are going to be able to set aside their own agendas and celebrate your choice and arrival in your personal power. They will welcome your thoughts and insights as well as what you think you should do next. Your therapeutic interactions should never feel like you are dealing on used car. You should be confident that your therapist truly wants what is best for you without intentional desire for self-gratification.
Just about everyone has heard the cliché line from television shows or movies that include a counselor of any kind, “How does that make you feel?” Honestly, that question has probably gotten a bad rap from its overuse and portrayal in these enactments in entertainment. But this brings up another thing to look for when you are deciding if someone is a good fit for you. Your potential counselor should be curious, nonjudgmental, and open to hearing your thoughts, feelings, ideas, and efforts. They should listen more than they speak. Their questions and reflections of your statements should help you gain a clearer idea of where you are wanting to go. It can seem quite conversational, but they will be wanting to hear from you what has worked, what has not worked, where you want to go, and how you can see yourself getting there.
Whether you are a person who prefers advice and tools or a person who responds better to guiding and getting there on your own. Finding your best fit therapist is a personal choice. This choice can be influenced by things like finances, insurance, location, availability and waiting times, but the most important thing is finding someone you can trust and communicate with on a level that makes sense for you. I hope you find the help that works for you, if by chance that is me I will be honored to share in your wellness journey, if not that’s okay too.
